Nov. 10th, 2014

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Emotional state should probably be taken into account if you’re going to be scientific; but since when does that come into context in a blog? A blog is all about the emotions. The ranting, the personal opinion and the kicking your brain out there to let it run around like a fevered lemmings amongst the hapless souls who are (un)lucky enough to encounter your witterings.

Which is a rather long winded way of saying, I need a drink.

Thankfully tonights selection promises to be much better than the last one (which incidentally is still at the same level it was a week ago, which just goes to show how bad it is)

Tonight I sup on distilled milk; well, you can make vodka out of just about anything, boot polish, tank fuel and of course cow juice. This is a brand from deepest Dorset and in an excellent nod to history it has a gold cap as well. Gold top vodka, what could go wrong?

First, let’s try the chilled from the fridge because it’s going to warm up soon. Not much nose to it, very subtle flavour, it might be my brain saying “cream” but it does have an almost faint silkly milky texture to it and damn, damn it goes down smoothly; there’s just no burn at all; no burn until about five seconds later a delicious warmth fills your stomach. Now, bare in mind this stuff is a stronger vodka as well, 40%. That is silk in a glass.

Winding it back a notch I’ll try the room temperature shot next. This has been taunting me all evening sitting next to the sink, it’s lucky I just didn’t chug it earlier. But after the smoothness of the chilled chugging this would be like chugging 20 year old single malt, it’s doing the drink a great disservice.
Still no appreciable nose, well, it’s not got a face of course but there’s no smell, corny old dog jokes aside. Not always a bad thing. Ooooo, that is good. And room temperature as well; no burn, more lovely lovely warmth, I can’t pinpoint a taste really, it’s just more a lovely soft feeling that tells you that this is definitely not water here. Which is probably just as well, because this stuff goes down like water.

No smell from the frozen, but I wasn’t really expecting any. Ooo, but that gives it a bit of burn, the freezer has actually given it a bit of bite, nothing fierce about that at all, but it’s a little nip at the back of your throat as it just slides down. Scuse me… another chug later (out of shot glasses, so it’s from the bottle) flavour is building and the heat is as well; so this has got a lot of potential to cater it exactly to how you like your drink.

And just in case you’re worried? On the back of the bottle it does say, suitable for lactose intolerance. Nice.

The Scores

Quality 9/10 - This stuff is amazing smooth, there’s few vodkas I’ve tried that have been this silky smooth, If you like it with a bit of bite, stick it in the freezer, otherwise, you’d barely feel the burn until it’s in your belly. Delicious. About the only thing I’d like is a bit more viscosity, it feels like water almost but damn, damn it’s good.

Taste 7/10 - It builds on you and your mind tells you it’s cream, well mine does anyway, it also tells me that the space monkeys are preparing their tutus for a line dance so maybe this isn’t a perfect assessment. That said, it’s very, very subtle. But for something this smooth it’s amazing. Since there’s little taste you’d be forgiven for thinking it’d be an ideal mixer, and I think you’re right but something this good really shouts out to be drunk neat just because it’s so nice.

Presentation 8/10 - A clear bottle with classy text and that gold cap really give it that old ‘milk bottle’ like look to it, very clever really, right down to the dancing cow on the bottle.

Alcohol - 40% by volume

Cost - ~£30. Master of malt is selling it for £28 which is damn good.

Conclusion: This is an amazingly smooth vodka, really fantastic quality. I don’t know how many times they’ve distilled it (no info on the bottle or website) but I don’t care, they’ve done a fantastic job. What’s more this is the vodka to wave under the noses of people who say that vodka can only be made from wheat, rye or spuds. Best temperature to serve will depend on your taste, if you want a bit of bite, freeze it. But I’d recommend just chilling it in the fridge, just for that nice cool feel down the throat before the warmth that follows. Delicious. Now if you excuse me, I have to go drink some milk…

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